South Africa’s political leaders are officially the country’s most silly people after the previous record holders – the Hayibo.com team – stepped down today. While many spent their day as usual, whooping or flinging poo back and forth across Parliament, some took time to reflect on what Hayibo had meant to them. READ OUR FINAL STORY.
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The ANC Youth League has hailed Friday’s closure of Hayibo.com as a “brave step forward” for South Africa’s media. “The bloody agents have red the riting on the wol,” read a press release. “They have choosed to fell on there sords rather than face the purging fires of the Tribunal.” Asked for comment, Hayibo’s management simply shook their heads and sighed.
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Thousands of nouveau riche homeowners in Midrand are set to launch a massive class action lawsuit against the Italian region of Tuscany after discovering that Tuscan houses do not feature marble pillars, porcelain whippets in the dining room, rottweilers sleeping next to poo-coils on dead yellow lawns, or double garages for his-n-her SUVs.
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Leading websites News24.com, Moneyweb and the Sunday Times have confirmed that they are considering a range of new websites tailored specifically to the needs of the racists who overwhelm their comments section. “This iz apatheit!” screamed user IdiAminWuzRight, while Voortrekker1830 commented, “Typikal blak kak, why iz I even still yere in this kuntry?”
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The police and other corruption-busting organisations have warned South Africans to stop paying tax, saying that citizens were knowingly becoming accessories to crime by funding a shadowy gang of confidence tricksters, fraudsters, embezzlers and petty thieves known throughout the criminal underworld as “the South African government”.
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Taurus Apr 20 – May 20 All you need is love. And a panic button that will summon the paramedics when you’ve run out of food and water, and the dachshunds are licking your feet... Read more
Scottish clan leader William Wallace is remembered today as “Braveheart” thanks to the blockbuster starring Mel Gibson, but the warlord and rebel was not always known thus. It... Read more
